Accountability: The Bridge to “Future You”
"I'm great when someone else gives me a deadline," he said. "But when I try to impose a deadline on myself, I just can't do it. Is this normal?"
I chuckled out loud because YES, it absolutely is 100% normal.
According to author Gretchen Rubin, most of us need some kind of external accountability—humans are social creatures after all.
While there ARE those of us who can summon the willpower to achieve the things we want to do, and we all have areas of our life where it is easier to make change happen, it is totally normal to struggle with this, and there is no shame in needing outside accountability to make things happen.
After years of struggling to get myself to commit to finishing a single project, and then finally overcoming that tendency, what I've come to realize is this:
Accountability isn't a crutch for the weak-willed – it's a powerful tool we can intentionally choose to transform ourselves.
Think about all the systems throughout our lifetime that help us get things done:
Until we are adults, our parents tell us what to do at home. Most of us are given chores, and then there are rewards or punishments for getting or not getting things done. Throughout K-12 and in college, someone tells us the parameters that will get us an A+. And as employees, the organizations we work for typically have structures in place for performance review.
But how often in life are we asked to set our own goals, the parameters by which we’ll judge them, and the deadline by which we'll reach them?
Even if we do take the initiative, are there ever any consequences for not meeting those deadlines? Or do we just let ourselves off the hook time and time again?
Without some kind of accountability, without any kind of expectations for ourselves, we let ourselves down. We disappoint ourselves, because we know the truth: we could absolutely be doing better.
I've noticed that some people seem to really bristle at the idea of accountability.
Maybe it's similar to my dislike of the word/idea of discipline. To me, the word discipline has bad connotations of going to the principal's office, spankings, or time outs. But the other meaning of discipline has grown on me. As in “developing a discipline.” Overcoming one's lack of motivation by performing an action whether you feel like it or not.
A discipline can free you because it takes away the burden of choice. There's no need to ask "will I run today?" because if you have a discipline, you already know the answer.
Just as reframing discipline liberated me, embracing accountability can free us to become who we want to be.
Just like discipline, accountability can be a fraught topic. It’s got a little bit of the stench of being held to someone else’s rules or standards. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
If you choose to be accountable to something that is meaningful to YOU, you're giving yourself a gift.
While the others who give you the outside accountability—the coach, your group—might enforce your commitment, you're not actually doing it for them. You're doing it for yourself. You show up and hold others accountable and they, you. But do you know who really wins? Future you.
Today You doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Today You cannot begin to comprehend HOW you will get to your goal.
It seems too big. Too far away.
You don't have the map. You don't have the skills. You don't have the tools.
But that doesn't matter.
Accountability is choosing to do good for Future You. It is choosing to take steps in the direction of the person you WANT to be.
The one who did the hard thing and grew as a result, rather than the version who chose to stay put and atrophied.
Accountability isn’t about restriction or limitation, but about consciously choosing the path of growth over the comfort of the status quo—building a bridge between Today You and the Future You that you aspire to become.
Look at your life right now:
What changes do you currently want and/or need to make?
Who will you be 5, 10, or 20 years from now if you don't?
Who could you be if you did?
Want to find out what you can do RIGHT NOW to choose Future You?
Click here to set up a free 20-minute session with me, and let’s get you unstuck!
Also…
On April 16th, I'm teaching a webinar on accountability basics for World Voices Organization (WoVO)…
✨I would love to see you there! ✨
This is a members only event, so if you are not already a WoVO member, you would need to join in order to attend.
