In the Weeds? 6 Tips to Overcome Your Overwhelm

Jul 27

If you haven’t ever been a server, you might not know the term “in the weeds.”

If you HAVE been a server, just hearing those words has given you PTSD flashbacks to the time you were reamed out by a man who thought it was okay to scream at you while you were holding 40lbs worth of dishware just because you forgot his ketchup, while his toddler spouted water right into your face.

Or a million other little indignations and seriously stressful circumstances that you probably faced on a regular basis.

“In the weeds” means you feel like you are trying to stay afloat and swim back to short, back to safety, and your legs are getting wrapped up in milfoil and algae, and wave upon wave threatens to push you under.

It means that you can no longer handle everything being thrown your way. Your thoughts become jumbled, and when you finally can’t figure out what to do next, you just freeze entirely.

“In the weeds” is overwhelm. And overwhelm can affect anyone.

When overwhelm hits, it can be hard to decide what to do next.

Your brain is trying to organize everything you need to do, and keep track of it all, and the thoughts fight each other to get through (kinda like when you’re on the highway, and there’s an accident, and all of a sudden they funnel five lanes down into one).

Lately, I’ve been a bit overwhelmed, tbh.

The world feels like a lot.

Adulting (yes, I’m still using that term) can feel overwhelming. Relationships of many kinds can be stressful. Even things that are objectively GOOD can be overwhelming. Anything that changes our patterns or temporarily overloads our system can be stressful.

Things that are overwhelming me lately:

The oppressive heat and humidity, trying to make time to get outside despite the heat and humidity, trying to get to sleep earlier, trying to eat better, sleep disruptions due to trying to eat better, my new part time job, the number of tabs I have open on my computer at any one time, my online casting inboxes, my 1647 unread emails in my personal email inbox, wanting a cat, but knowing that it’s not the right time yet, my car’s AC being out (see: oppressive heat and humidity), having so many things that I WANT to do and so many things I NEED to do yet not having time or money enough to do them all, and not knowing where to start.

You get the picture.

I’m okay, by the way, and I don’t share any of that to complain, but to show you that we ALL have things that we are overwhelmed by on a daily basis.

From this former server and now voice actor/accountability coach/personal assistant, here are things I recommend to help deal with the overwhelm of modern life.

6 Tips to Overcome Your Overwhelm:

WRITE IT DOWN. I don’t trust servers who don’t write down the order for my table of 7 people with all of their allergies and preferences, nor, probably, do you. We’ve all had the experience where that server totally forgets our jalapeno poppers, charges us for the beer we never got, and almost sends your friend with the nut allergy to the hospital. It is not a weakness to make a list—it’s a smart practice that offloads some of the mental work from your brain. Put your list somewhere you’ll see it frequently, and consult it regularly. Doctors and pilots use checklists to perform tasks that they could probably do in their sleep, because science has shown that people are fallible and checklists can help you not miss critical steps. Same goes for helping you remember to pick up milk and eggs, sign your kid’s permission slip, and get your agent auditions done on time. And when you go to tackle that list—
STAY FOCUSED. Multi-tasking is a lie, and the energy eaten up by switching tasks can quickly deplete your reserves. As a server, my brain would shut down if I thought of everything I needed to do at once. Instead, I learned to think of only the next thing I needed to do so my brain had clear directions and wouldn’t be telling my feet to go to the bar to get the beers for table 12 while it was also telling them to run to the kitchen to pick up the food for table 5, leaving me tripping over my feet in the middle of the entryway as my legs got tangled trying to do both. You cannot make progress trying to walk in two different directions at the same time.
DO IT NOW. Use the 2-Minute Rule: If a task will take you less than two minutes to complete, just do it now. Develop a bias toward action. In one of the first restaurants I ever worked at, I was taught that at any moment, you should expect to get slammed with customers. If you have a minute or two, you look around and see what can be done to prepare for that inevitability, whether it’s filling water glasses with ice, wiping down dirty tables, or making new coffee. Reset, and be prepared to face the next rush. In voiceover, you might want to leave those two auditions until later, but then all of a sudden you have an inbox of urgent deadlines and you don’t have time to do them all before you pick your kid up from soccer practice. Do them now.
DELEGATE. In the best restaurants I worked at, we were a team. We trusted each other to help each other when we needed it and to do the job satisfactorily. I can understand prefering to do something yourself, but being a control freak about how certain things get done only hurts you. If letting go of control is hard for you, start with the small things, and eventually give over more autonomy, whether you’re hiring a virtual assistant or just asking your husband and kids to tackle more household chores so you can actually get your work done.
DO LESS. You heard me! “But I have to…” No. You. Don’t. Rarely is anyone making you do anything. You are making choices. If the laundry or dishes don’t get done today, or this week, will the world end? Probably not. Yes, I know #2 said “Do it now” but there are times when your priorities are going to be elsewhere. Servers don’t always get the option, I know, but even there, there were times when I just had to say “enough,” and ignore the people standing at the door, ignore the dirty tables, and take care of the most important thing, which was getting the already seated customers their food and beverages. Sometimes, you don’t have an option but to refuse to add anything more to your plate.
REST. You deserve your time off. Protect it at all costs. You cannot be your best and do your best work if you are run ragged. When I was a server, I often worked with people who put in 50+ hours in a week and then on their day off, they’d end up coming in for someone else and being super grumpy about it. No one forced them. They allowed themselves to feel pressured to come in. You have to protect your own boundaries. You want to have the day at home and do nothing? Do it! Ignore your inbox, tell your friends you love them but you need alone time, and do not feel a lick of guilt for any of it.

One of my dearest friends in the world just left after being here all weekend, and while it was great, I’m exhausted. So, I knew that today was going to be a “nothing” kinda day. I knew I was going to accomplish a few key things (write this blog, write my regular email, and do a sound check for a project with an overseas client), but that’s about it. I took my friend to the airport. I napped. I ate. I watched an episode of Ghosts (the UK version of course). I took a really cool time lapse of the sunset. And I spent more time than expected whittling down my email inbox because it was, well, overwhelming me.

Despite taking the day off, I’m still pretty exhausted, actually, and I expect I’ll go to bed early, because this week looks like a doozy, too.

Hope these tips help!

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