“When one door closes, another one opens”

You’ve surely heard that saying, right?

When I was younger, I read something that said “When God closes one door, he opens a window,” and I painted on my apartment wall “Look for the open window.”

(Don’t judge—it was my “Live. Laugh. Love.”)

Various quotes similar to that are attributed to Helen Keller and Alexander Graham Bell, though no one knows who really said them. I think we’re always just trying to understand why things happen the way they do, and why we face roadblocks to the things we really want.

This is going to be at least a two-part series, so let’s start with this:

A door is not a barrier. It is a threshold.

Some thresholds are easy to cross. Going from one room of your house to another, for instance.

Others require payment, belonging, or readiness.

You pay a cover charge to get into the nightclub. To get into the Magic Castle, you’ve gotta be a member or the guest of a member. And if you want to play at Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice!

Our first lesson about doors is about looking for that open window.

My freshman year of college, I completed Acting I and II, and received an A in both. So you can imagine my surprise when I auditioned for Advanced Acting…and was rejected.

Being unused to not getting opportunities as a straight-A student, I went to the teacher and asked why he had turned me down. He said that I wasn’t ready.

I, of course, didn’t like that answer. How could I NOT be ready? I had taken the prerequisite classes, gotten the best possible grade I could, and there were no other options to learn in between those two!

This professor told me to go read Meisner and get a Meisner coach. I read the book, but balked at getting a coach as I was a poor college student who didn’t really have the expendable income to get a coach. What was I paying tuition for???

When I tried again the following year, and got the same answer, I grew even more frustrated. And then—I found the open window. A community theater just off campus was doing a challenging play with a great local director, and I joined the cast in a small role.

When the auditions for Advanced Acting rolled around again in year three, I decided that the class wasn’t for me. I didn’t need to keep banging my head against a locked door, when there were other opportunities around.

Similarly, there was a theater in town where I auditioned for TWELVE YEARS before I finally gave up. TWELVE YEARS!!! I had worked with the director in college, playing the lead in a musical he directed, so I thought I stood a chance at getting cast in the chorus…but I never even got a callback. Finally, after more than a decade of rejection, I decided that the drive to the suburbs wasn’t worth my time, and I reclaimed my power.

There are times when persistence is a virtue…and times when it’s just straight up masochism.

If you are struggling with a situation where you are actively injuring yourself emotionally, spiritually, or physically trying to make something happen that just isn’t…please, I beg of you—

Look for the open window.

Or a key!!! There could be a key in the room…

Your goal might still be achievable. But the route to it might be WAY different than you imagine.

Can’t get an agent?—start direct marketing yourself.
Want to do character work but don’t have opportunities?—lean into commercial.
Struggling to book voiceover despite having coaching?—go take an in-person acting class!

That window could be anywhere. Poke around a bit, stay curious and open-minded, and be ready to give something uncomfortable a shot.

Do you have any examples of when you threw yourself at that closed door until you were bloodied and bruised? What finally happened?

Next week, I’ll share more door stories and metaphors to help you cross those thresholds that you’re struggling with.

Until then!

Peace, love, and getting 💩 done,

🌈🦋 Billie Jo

P.S. Want help opening doors, finding windows, and crossing thresholds of all kinds? Join me every Monday at the Chrysalis Club! For just $33 for four weeks, you get two hours of group coaching, accountability, and coworking each week. Click here for more info.

Closed Door, Open Window (Doors Part 1)